Code Blue: do your speech patterns date you?

How to tweak your talk

to bolster your work

with younger colleagues 

codeblueInnovation often flows from collaboration among people with different views and skill sets.  In today’s workplace, one way in which managers are learning to foster creative thinking is by partnering expert professionals aged 45+ with tech- and social media-savvy 20-somethings.

As Kerry Hannon wrote in a New York Times article, entrepreneurs are among those finding the power of multi-generational partnerships.  Boomers are launching start-up businesses at an amazing rate, and some are looking to younger family members to co-lead their enterprises.

Work teams that cut across generations have so much potential that it’s a shame the trend isn’t building even faster.  One barrier to cooperation across the decades is that people of different ages communicate in different ways.  In response to my recent post on reciprocal mentoring, a few readers seemed to doubt that a real dialogue is even possible.  And, let’s face it, sometimes Boomers and Millennials find each other boring.

Recently I was talking with a group of Boomer friends about the tedious conversational patterns of our age cohort.  In particular, we all confessed to indulging in prolonged accounts of our various aches and pains. We bore even each other with this kind of talk and could drive a Millennial out of the room.  So we invented a game to remind each other to avoid annoying old person talk:

  • Code Blue (for blue hair) is our signal to break the habit of complaining about sore body parts.  I’m not talking about a serious talk with a dear friend about health challenges.  Rather, the goal is to resist the temptation to mention your sore back or sleepless night when the conversation should focus on something else.   In you want to play, empower your friend or partner to give you a gentle “Code Blue” reminder, should you rant about the state of your body.
  • Code Green is a signal I wanted to use while eavesdropping on the next table at the local bistro.  There, a prosperous looking young couple was buying dinner for the man’s mother, a woman of about 60+.  Instead of expressing appreciation for the great choices, Mom embarrassed her son by going through the menu loudly complaining about the prices.  When the waiter took her order, she said, “Well what I really want is the swordfish, but I’d never let him pay that much, so bring me the pasta.”  When your spouse once again shares the discovery that prices have gone up since 1984, offer a gentle reminder: “Code Green.”
  • Code Golden Harvest is the contribution of our friend Paula Miller, who says it drives her crazy when people interrupt a conversation about something current with yet another story of what it was like back in the day.  “Golden Harvest” was a wildly popular color for appliances and décor from the 60s into the 80s.  But there’s a reason people stopped using it and we’re all still tired of it.  If you know you tend to reminisce when future thinking is what’s needed, let your colleagues know it’s OK to call a Code Golden Harvest.
  • Code Sparkles is what Merry Foresta suggests we use to remind each other to enjoy the moment.  It will come in handy if your friend decides to eat cake at the office birthday party, but accompanies every bite with a monologue about the calorie count and evil impact of sweets.  Merry – an art museum visionary who works well with colleagues of all ages – says the trick is to stay fully engaged and enjoy what you’re actually doing right now.  If you choose to eat cake, do it with gusto, enjoying every moment.  If you can’t manage engagement, at least stop talking, so others have a chance to stay in the flow. 

Upon reflection, perhaps Code Sparkles says it all.  The people most able to partner across functional, age or other lines are those who stay focused on what’s happening now.  They put aside their complaints and recollections and listen intently.  That’s what I want to do, and it’s OK if sometimes you remind me.

You might also be interested in reading: Bridge age and expertise gaps with mentoring that works both ways

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Bev, a former lawyer and Fortune 500 executive, is an executive and transitions coach, and a leadership consultant with a broad and varied practice.

Posted in business etiquette, career resilience, networking Tagged with: , ,
4 comments on “Code Blue: do your speech patterns date you?
  1. Libby Vick says:

    I agree with all of this. Having taught college freshman for many years now I can verify – young people are happy to interact with anyone, as long as you are engaged in “their” world and stay away from “old people” complaints.

  2. I love it. Bev!!!! I have been noticing that my group is talking so much like “old people”… Using expressions such as “Back in the day… We only had 3 main TV channels… We used encyclopedias to look up information in my day… Times were different when I was young… Etc”. Automatic turnoffs to Gen Ys – especially when they are repeated over and over again!!! I love your use of the Codes! Will be sharing this shamelessly!! Thank you. Hope all is well with you!

  3. Bev says:

    Thanks so much for your comment… It’s good to hear from you. I’m still having fun, trying to keep up with the times…

  4. Thanks so much. I hope you find much that is both enjoyable and useful

4 Pings/Trackbacks for "Code Blue: do your speech patterns date you?"
  1. […] Another factor that shapes your image is the way you talk.  Particularly if you’re a Boomer who doesn’t want to sound over the Hill, and if you have a sense of humor, you might want to read: Code Blue. […]

  2. […] Code Blue: Sound like an oldster? Do you want that as your brand? […]

  3. […] Code Blue: Sound like an oldster? Do you want that as your brand? […]

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Beverly E. Jones

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Books with Bev’s Tips

Bev’s tips on career change are featured in the books and other writing of leading journalist Kerry Hannon. If you’re thinking about a career transition, try:

Love Your Job: The New Rules for Career Happiness

What’s Next? Find Your Passion and Your Dream Job in You Forties, Fifties and Beyond

“Great Jobs for Everyone 50+: Finding Work That Keeps You Happy and Healthy and Pays the Bills”

Bev at Ohio University,
where she is a visiting
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Voinovich School of
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Bev's garden at Buckeye Farm